Just Married

Last week, the Massachusetts legislature voted down an initiative that would have asked state residents to vote on whether or not gay men and women should be allowed to marry. The debate on both sides of the question was fierce, and on the day of the vote, both sides showed up in force at the State House.

I’m not at all surprised that there are those who choose to spend their days trying to take away people’s rights. Religious fanatics have always defended their hatred as the way they show their love of God. And then there are those whose fear drives them to believe that something granted to one group of folks will somehow mean less for them. I am always amazed and often amused by their logic.

Robin Brophy, quoted in The Boston Globe on the day of the vote, spends her spare time going to rallies because of her fear that gay marriage will make families headed by heterosexual couples “obsolete.” "They can't procreate," she said of gay men and lesbians. "Are they going to just adopt all the time? People are going to start selling their eggs. We're opening up a huge can of worms here."

So what she’s saying is that heterosexuals won’t get married if they find out they don’t have to have sex to have babies. And gay people are going to make all of this possible because they’ll create a huge market for eggs (and I assume sperm donors and surrogate uteruses). Can you see it? People will sell their eggs at street corners like lemonade, engaging in price wars, encouraging heterosexuals to join in the fun by buying eggs and sperm instead of marrying to have children. Hmmm… “Honey, I love you and I really wanted to marry you, but then I found out about the 3 for $99 egg sale at the corner of State and Main and, well, it’s a heck of a lot cheaper than even my tux would be for the wedding…”

A less insane but definitely ignorant argument made during this debate was that the legislature was required to put this on the ballot and to let the voters decide whether gay folks should be allowed to marry. Kris Mineau of the Massachusetts Family Institute was quoted in the Globe, saying, “I don't believe it's dead, because the people have not had the opportunity to have their vote.” In a republic, Mr. Mineau, the people don’t get to decide everything – the constitution puts the laws into place and protects people’s rights.

We didn’t get to vote on whether whites and blacks should get to marry. The Supreme Court decided this for us. Good thing.

Because we suck as voters. Half of us don’t vote, even when it’s for the President; and when we do, we pick the worst possible candidate (check out the last two elections). Who would show up to vote on the gay marriage thing? Gay people, religious zealots, and haters. That’s not exactly THE PEOPLE having their say.

Here are some other “reasons” they say homosexuals shouldn’t be allowed to marry:
“Next, it’ll be people wanting to marry monkeys.” The same thing was said 40 years ago about blacks and whites marrying. I have yet to see King Kong picking out paint colors at Home Depot with his little blonde wife, so I’m not worried.

“Next, it’ll be people wanting to have four wives.” The Mormons did this for about 100 years before anyone stopped them (and some, I hear, are still doing it), and no one else has jumped on the bandwagon. Anyone who’s been married (except for Mormons) knows that one spouse is enough.

Last but not least, the craziest argument of them all: “It ruins the sanctity of marriage.” Until there’s a constitutional amendment passed that Britney Spears can no longer marry, don’t even go there with me.